Yesterday I was running a long run (11 miles) as part of my training for a half that is happening at the end of May. In the past, I was always afraid to run long runs by myself. I feared that when times got tough I would quit because I would not have someone to challenged me to push myself harder, but I have found that is not the case for me recently.
As I was running, I found myself experiencing true solitude and it allowed me time to process my upcoming transition. At this time in two months, I will (hopefully) have a new job and be living in a new apartment. I will no longer be a full-time volunteer and I will no longer be living in a volunteer community. Everything is about to change in an inexplicable way which honestly freaks me out.
However, I am able to reflect on a few positives. I still have two months to truly enjoy my community and the benefits of being a volunteer. A year ago, I was just as nervous about my upcoming transition into my current life, but everything played out in a live giving way so I have to trust that everything will continue to happen in a way that it is supposed to. I have to trust that God will give me what I need and I can only hope that it will resemble what I want. If I find myself unhappy, I have to trust that I will have the strength and courage to make necessary changes.
I find that I struggle with transition though it has been a natural part of my life for much of what I can remember. Much like running, I have to remember to breathe and focus only on that which I can control. I have to remember to give my body and my soul what it needs through this transition, not what it necessarily wants. Just as I finish every long run - good or bad - I will make it through this transition and I will have learned about myself and this world because of it.
