If I am being honest, I have been operating between a four
and a five out of ten on my own happiness scale lately. What I mean to say by
that is that over the past few months I have been finding myself feeling down,
anxious, frustrated, insecure, and emotionally spent more often than I find
myself feeling joy, confidence, and happiness. I would not quite say that I
have entered a depressive state, but I am not where I would like to be in regards
to my own mental health. I have known this for a while and I have been chasing
happiness down for a few weeks. I have been reading memoirs by my favorite
authors. I have been painting my nails bright colors. I have been eating foods
that are scientifically proven to be mood boosters. I have been journaling. I
have been attending different activities in the city. However, nothing seems to
stick. It’s been a while since I have found myself in a state like this and I
have decided to try out an old practice that worked for me before.
Today I am starting 100 happy days for the second time. The
concept of 100 happy days is to take a picture of something/someone/or some
event that made you happy for 100 days in a row, no exceptions. The last time I
attempted this practice was at the end of my junior year of college. I started
it as I was in the midst of the worst breakup that I have ever had. I am not exaggerating
when I say that during the week that followed that break up I did not eat and I
slept and cried for several hours every day. My siblings went from worried to
genuinely concerned rather quickly and were trying to help me put myself back
together. With them I found 100 happy days. It seemed silly at the time, but at
the end of my 100 days, I genuinely felt like a happier person. Though I had some rather challenging
experiences happen over my last 100 days like being hospitalized for exhaustion
and working three jobs while studying for the GRE, I found a way to find the
good in everything. I need to get back to that.
This time around, I am going to post my photos to Instagram
and will be following a few key rules:
- Be honest. Lying about
what is making me happy kind of defeats the purpose of this whole
experiment.
- No apologies. If coloring
a mandala and going to bed at 9pm is what made me happy for a day that is
ok.
- Vices (alcohol/sympathy
desserts) in and of themselves cannot be my “happy” for the day. I know
that there are other things that can bring me genuine happiness.
- No dating apps over the
100 days. I am not closing myself off for these 100 days, but I don’t
think I need to be so open either. It is time to focus on me for a little
bit.
- If I am not feeling/seeing
any impact after 30 days, it’s time to seek some professional assistance.
I have no issues with seeing a therapist/mental health professional, but I
don’t think I am quite at that point yet.
If you are curious
about how I am doing, feel free to check my photos out. My Instagram handle is sarahkelly930.
I am excited and curious to see how my next 100 days of happy are going to go,
but my hope is that I can come back to myself. Here’s to fighting for happiness
and a full life.
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